I watched a show today on Dr. Phil. www.drphil.com The story was about a young teen and young mom who would rather die than be fat…..my heart just breaks. We live in a world where people are willing to die, just to fit in a social society that is false. Sad…awfully sad. I wish I could inject them with self love. I wish I could help them understand how that their beauty does not lie in the number on the scale. I wish I could tell them that how much they weigh is NOT more important than their souls….their personalities, love. I have been heavier..I have been thinner. I am the same person at any weight. We need to learn to love ourselves not for our physical image…but for our internal soul. My heart just broke for both ladies. Our physical form can be changed in an instant….Why do they think they are less lovable with a change in weight. Sadly, there are definitely deeper issues here… I just wish I could tell all those that suffer with weight issues that you need to take yourself out of your size. If you are a size zero or a size 54…..celebrate the best of you. Are you a kind person? Are you an awesome parent? Do you serve others? Are you the healer among your family and friends? These are qualities of great beauty…..These are attributes to be proud of…..Let your radiance shine…..Be the best you ….at any size. Do NOT let the numbers on the scale let you believe you are less than. Each of us has amazing qualities……Each of us has abilities that are special…….You will be living your very best life if you share who you are with others…..Let your radiance shine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Check out the Jan 3 2008 show on www.drphil.com

www.confidencelady.com

Even though I am successful and spend my life coaching and speaking to others on how to have success in their life, the one thing I have never conquered is my weight. I gained over 100 lbs while taking care of my mother when she was terminally ill. No matter what I tried, I was never able to release the weight. It has, however, never stopped me from anything I have wanted to do. I speak in front of 1000’s and have been on TV etc. O.K. OK. So it has stopped me from roller-blading in a bikini…but it really just is I have no balance. In the past few months, I finally figured out what held my weight on my body. I would feel privileged to share my thought with you - the top 3 things that have assisted me in releasing my weight are: 1) We need to explore what benefit does our weight serve? Does it disguise loneliness, lack of nurturance, a trauma from the past? For me, it was the loss of so many family and friends. As I accessed my past, I realized that with each loss I gained weight, and somehow in my mind, if I lost weight…I lost them. Since I have figured out how my weight has served me…I have been able to release it (I am currently down 37 lbs); 2) We need to take 100% responsibility for our life. Each moment you make a decision…make the best decision you are capable of making at that moment. I have no one to blame but myself for what I eat. I have to accept full responsibility for allowing my body to be in its current state. If you say to yourself “diet,” the human mind will resist…. it will feel lack…. Tell yourself you can have anything you want…then, when making the choice of what to eat, make the very best choice possible. If our mind perceives we have to suffer, or we have to restrict, or deprive, it will fight us. We already feel lack or loss…that is why many diets fail. A person of weight is in a state of lack for something, someone… Change your mind set in baby steps. If you are used to eating a quarter-pound hamburger and large fries…order a small fry and a smaller hamburger…till you can make a better choice. Tell yourself - This is your desire…your choice. Over time…your choice will get better… Your own mind will start to feel empowered to make better and better choices. These small changes will start to build your self-esteem… You will see wins, instead of loses; 3) Love yourself right where you are now. I am very; very fortunate…my self-esteem is not based on the scale… I have been larger and smaller, and my confidence and self-esteem is the same at either weight… Do I feel sassier as a smaller size…..YES! Do I love myself anymore, or less…NO!!!!!! You are a beautiful child of God…you have intelligence, a sense of humor, a loving nature, and many qualities that are the essence of you. Celebrate the essences of you… NO ONE can make you feel bad about yourself unless you give them your power… DO NOT give them your power. Look, at Oprah….Do you love her any less if she gains or loses weight….NO…Do you think she is less intelligent thinner or heavier…NO….Do you think her heart gets smaller with her waistline…NOT A CHANCE… So why are you less then? Because your waistline may be more then… LOVE YOURSELF for all you are inside…Do me a favor…Write a list of your top ten qualities…Your internal qualities. Who are you? After you write your top 10 qualities I want you to list your top 5 strengths. I want you to ask at least 5 other people what they think are your best qualities. I want you to concentrate on the positive things about you. I want you to love yourself, and realize that you have amazing qualities…and amazing new possibilities will open to you, as you release yourself from your prison of weight… As I read through these posts….I thought what wonderful women were writing…I wonder what kind of friend she is? I wonder what she has done to help another? I wonder how her great sense of humor will lift someone today? My dear Sisters…Love yourself… Accept yourself… Do not give anyone your power, or your essence… You shine… Praise yourself for the great things about you, and yourself.

Your esteem will turn around, and you will have the power to be the best you…at any size.

https://www.confidencelady.com

Is it really in to be so thin that your ribs show through your blouse? Who made the standard that only thin people are pretty, talented and the ultimate in beauty. I was talking with one of my teenage clients about how is was to go back to school after the summer. She stated “she already hated it” Why? I inquired. “I am a fattie” she said…… What!!! She is a size 6..yes, 5″7 and a size 6. In my book that may be considered too thin. She was literally depressed that she was fat. She did not see the fun of entering her Freshman year of High School…..the fun of a new school, new clothes, new year…new guys…She only saw that she was fat……a big fat size 6. We had a long talk about how beautiful she really is and how she is not fat. How no matter if she was a size 66, or a size 6 her qualities are beautiful. She is smart, she is kind, she is a great big sister, she is talented..and that no matter what her size…..she is an incredible person, and nothing should hold her back from being all she can be. I told her if any girl ,or guy told her she was fat….then she should feel sorry for them…because they do not know the value of a great girl….and she should let no one tell her she is not good enough…..She is perfect just for who she is..fat, thin, short, tall….